THE EMOTIONAL SELF
What the Hell?!
How did I end up here again?
One hour ago, I was looking at wedding dresses online and now I’m single?!
What’s wrong with me?
Am I not “long term relationship material?”
What went wrong?
How did I get here?
Why did God allow this?
THE RATIONAL SELF
What the hell happened was I broke my own rule. I crossed my own boundary. I promised myself I would allow myself time enough to heal from the previous relationship before I entered into another one. I promised myself that I would learn the lessons from previous failures before I became emotionally attached to another person.
One hour ago, I was trying to make a person fit into my idea of a perfect relationship without considering their willingness to make them
to make the necessary changes in their own life. I obviously still have not learned the most important lesson: “You can’t change anyone.”
The only thing that is wrong with me is that you love too freely without giving any thought to who you open you’re heart up to. One critical flaw in my judgement is that I allow myself to be to vulnerable too quickly. I too often ignore the obvious signs that things are going to work. I use the positive attribute of determination to try to fix situations that were never meant to be.
You are long term relationship material, however, long-term relationships are made possible by two willing participants. Your relationship was doomed for failure the moment you decided to do your partners work for him. You can’t compromise, open up, or make the right decisions for anyone but yourself.
I arrived at this point because I still have not solidified what I want in a mate. I have not firmly set my ideas about what I will and won’t accept in a relationship. I made a critical error in judgement the moment I allowed myself to accept unacceptable behavior that violated the core of who I am as a woman, all in the name of keeping my relationship.
God didn’t cause this to happen to me. He allowed me to stumble and make this mistake because He knew it would be crucial for my development into a better, more mature woman. Until you learn from your mistakes you are doomed to repeat them.
Singlehood is not a curse, it is a time to nurture self, draw closer to God, and develop a strong sense of what you are looking for in a mate. When you can accept your current situation as a single woman, and learn to appreciate the solitude, you won’t find yourself falling for anyone and anything in search of a love that God has already given you.