Had a conversation with a girlfriend and I was literally tickled and amazed. After some consecutive disappointments she had endured at the hands of her family, friends, and even her lover, she had taken on such a non-chalant attitude.
Initially I felt like she was being mean, stand-offish, and a little bit unfair to those around her (particularly those who had brought significant amounts of drama into her life.) When we took the time to discuss in detail some of the situations she had been through, she was upfront and assertive, yet brief. The curious person that I am, continued to dig for a more emotional response but she did not have one to give me.
I finally told her, “It seems as if you don’t care about the lies, the backstabbing, or the people who put you through this.”
She laughed and said very simply “I don’t.”
Something about the honesty and the tone of her voice made me laugh. It made so much sense to me in an instant. I realized how much I actually cared about things, people, and situations, that did not serve any positive purpose in my life. I was impressed to see how calm and happy she appeared to be. I remember times when these same situations would have caused her hot anger and distress. Today though, she seemed… soooo… Over it!
Ironically, I received and email from one of my blog subscribers about something similar. She was writing in response to a newsletter I sent earlier this week. The newsletter was centered around the Ghandi quote: “Be the change you wish to see.” This woman emailed to say that the thing she wished to change about herself was how she seemed to be overly bothered, upset, and distressed by those around her. She essentially stated that she wished to be more in control of her emotions and she wanted to be less bothered by those around her.
I allowed my mind to dwell on this. I thought back to last week when I was upset enough to spit fire. And I thought about what that served me. I questioned why I tend to care so much about the frustrations that people and situations present. Honestly, I’m still examining the answers to that question.
After seeing the resilient glow, and happiness that my “de-stressed” friend wore, I have decided to stop caring so much. It’s baby steps now. I’m constantly reminding myself, “Kay, it doesn’t even matter that much.” I find myself stating my personal mantra: “Move forward.” My biggest goal at the moment is to live a life of freedom and each day I’m defining and redefining what freedom means to me. Today, I realize that freedom for me means not caring so much about every little annoyance that life tosses at me, or for people who serve no positive purpose in my life.