I’m a Christian, but I have friends who aren’t. Recently, and half-jokingly, I asked one of my”witchy” friends to write me a spell in 2017 that would keep the deadbeat, mentally unstable, spiritually stagnant, and emotionally immature men out of my life. She laughed and said,”your light will sometimes attract parasites, but you don’t have to accept what comes your way.”Frustrated, I decided to write my own “spell” of sorts. My goal is to remind myself of what I am seeking and what I definitely do not want in future relationships. I’m sharing this because I know some other beautiful woman is out there wondering why she hasn’t attracted her “good thing” into her life. So, turn up some neo-soul, grab a shot of wine, and get your pen and paper ready.
1.) Take a long hot bath.
This step is important because you need to be calm and relaxed so that you can been completely open and honest with yourself. So take time to clear your mind, and prepare to explore the possibilities in a fun, and imaginative way.
2.) Begin by simply writing what you want in a man.
This step should be fun, and simple. Be creative and let your imagination run wild. I would suggest beginning with a list of at least ten qualities. My list always includes: sense of humor, intelligence, hardworking. Be practical but also list things that seem outrageous. For me some of the outrageous things on my list include: dating a pilot or a man with a seven figure salary. *Smiling to myself* Next split this list into two categories: MUST HAVES and FLEXIBLE PREFERENCES.
3. Briefly examine your past relationships.
Take a moment to look over your previous relationship and decide which elements worked and which things proved intolerable. Don’t dwell too much here. I just always believe that in order to prevent repeating past mistakes, you should keep in mind what elements worked, and did not work for you. Did your last relationship fail because he was a poor communicator? Or did you cheat because you were bored with him?
4. Re-introduce Yourself to Yourself.
The previous steps have led you to be honest about what you want in a man and what experiences you want in your next relationship. This step, however, is all about you. Write down your own strengths and weakness. When it comes to your strengths, write them down as if you were filling out an online dating profile. In regards to your weakness, write them as if you were writing in the most intimate corner of your diary. Don’t linger. This isn’t a time to beat yourself up. But I feel that until you know your worth, you cannot begin to expect the best for yourself or in your relationships.
Taking time to note your flaws should help you identify weak areas in your life that you can take time to improve while you are single. For me, cooking was a weak area. (I know you’re probably thinking a girl who likes to eat as much as I do, must cook all the time.) That’s just one of my weaknesses. Prioritize your flaws from minor to major. Work on the small ones first. Making small adjustments will often motivate you to tackle the bigger, longer-term changes. Remember you want who man who has his life in decent order when he approaches you, so you need to be willing have put in the work on yourself so you’ll be ready when he comes to you.
5. Go back to steps 2 & 3.
Now that you’ve compiled this list, go back and go into detail. This detail will help keep you on track. For instance, if you wrote that you want a guy who is honest, then be specific about the real, observable traits of an honest man. Ie: honest- a man who doesn’t lie, a man who has no problem telling being transparent, a man who does what he says etc. If you want a man who doesn’t have trust issues then be sure to include things like: doesn’t question me about male friends that speak when we go out, doesn’t make unfounded accusations. The point of this last step is to be SPECIFIC. It’s very easy to write vague words on a sheet of paper and think that it will do all the magic for you, however once you begin to train yourself how to recognize men who embody the qualities you want, or are the epitome of things you don’t want, you boost yourself to an entirely new level in this crazy game of dating. Hopefully, you can save yourself a lot of time by readily recognizing what you really want.
I wish this list was less work and more magic! But, truth is, it takes real work to maneuver through the dating world. A word of caution is to always remember that as you evolve, this list should evolve. It’s ok to go back to the drawing board and make changes by adding or subtracting things. That simply means you’re growing.
If you are dead set on some ritual or semblance of magic, then I can tell you, that it probably wouldn’t hurt to take some anointing oil and sprinkle throughout your home, car, headboard, and shower (anywhere you ex may have been). Do so in a similar fashion to how the priest sprinkled anointed oil over Regan during the Exorcist movie.All remnants of past relationships need to GO!
I would also suggest some California White Sage. Open the windows, doors, cabinets and burn that stuff through your home. I mean sage the hell out of it. After all, we want to invite new, positive, energy into our lives and our hearts. Peace and happiness as you attract new people and relationships into your life.