I must tell you this amazing thing I did. I’ve been waiting anxiously to tell you this addiction I have over come. I was apprehensive about sharing this testimony at first-but now, I’ve reached a major milestone in this journey.
Hopefull you’re now as anxious about my good news as Id like for you to be. This journey that I’ve been on is the journey of QUITING SMOKING. I’ve been a smoker for around 10 years. And for the past 3-4 years I’ve been a pack a day smoker.
I have quit cold turkey during my life when I was pregnant with Tres. I found out I was pregnant and then I simply quit. Unfortunate for me, I started back shortly after tres was born. And in the past 24 months I’ve tried everything from pills, patches, e-cigarettes- and none of them helped me quit. So my story is a true testimony to the amazing power of the human mind, and the unshakable mental will. What makes my story special, is that this time- I quit just using my own will power, no stop smoking aids were needed.
Cigarettes had a grip on my life. Everytime I left the house I had to make sure I had a pack of cigs and a working lighter. Every free moment I could get I would smoke. During my 50mile commute to work, I would smoke almost constantly. After completing each task at work- I would smoke! I knew this addiction controlled me. Yep, the controlled freak was allowing herself to be controlled by something terribly unhealthy.
I made my decision to quit smoking while at work on March 5. I stayed up all night watching videos online about the dangers of smoking (as if I didn’t already know). I allowed my mind to think about the people I knew who had lost their lives because of smoking related deaths. I knew that I was fighting a tough battle. I knew it would be difficult.
On March 6th I made it through my first smoke free day. It felt good. The physical symptoms were not as bad as I remembered them being. When I thought about smoking I redirected my thinking. The physical symptoms were manageable- it’s the mental/emotional symptoms that kicked my ass!
For the first 14 days of quitting- I had the worst temperament! I would cuss, yell, kick, and do all kinds of uncontrollable things (like have temper tantrums) I am so embarrassed by this. But I did at least recognize why I was feeling like a complete b*tch.
So I want to take a moment and apologize to my family and friends who tolerated my mood swings during this time. I was trying to make a life changing decision. I thought it would be incredibly difficult to physically deal with the withdrawal symptoms. Truth is the physical withdrawal was a walk in the park in comparison to the anger, tension, aggression, that I experienced in the first two weeks. That was the worst part. But I have traded my smoking addiction for a strong desire for PEANUT M&Ms and Chamomile & Lavender tea- and I’m 100% cool with that.
I’m almost certain I’ve gained about 3-5 lbs since quitting; but I can at least say that now my food taste different (better), my clothes, hair, breath does not smell of nicotine or smoke,I don’t wake up with a cough, I don’t have sore throat daily anymore, my manicures are lasting longer, and my voice isn’t hoarse anymore. I don’t get winded doing simple tasks. I haven’t dealt with burns to my clothing, bedding, vehicle, lips or hands, and I’ve actually saved $120 by not buying cigarettes over the past 28days. The craziest thing is, when I smoked I could never keep up with a working lighter- and now that I quit I keep finding them everywhere! It’s so funny to me-now. What a difference 28 days can make.
I quit smoking in an effort to be healthier. I’m making a conscious decision for myself primarily, and also for my family, and I’m really proud of it. The one thing that has made me most happy about this journey, is when after about 3 weeks Kaleb said, “Mom, you haven’t been smoking as much.” My heart melted as I smiled and confidently said, “Baby, I quit!” The hug he gave me, the smile that stretched across is face…PRICELESS. I’m also very thankful for those around me who have encouraged me over the past 10 years. My family and friends, loved ones and lovers who have cared enough to tell me they wanted me to have the best life possible. It feels excellent to actually put your mind to something and #justdoit. Feeling motivated, wonder what’s next on my life list. Maybe consistent gym attendance.